The Only Way is Essex star Joey Essex has been a highlight of new E4 series Five Star Hotel, treating us to his exploits in the kitchen during episode two.

Excitable, energetic and child-like, Joey was tasked with helping co-star and Geordie Shore personality Holly Hagan, as the pair served breakfast for the hotel guests.

Needless to say, Joey lost interest by the time his toast was warm.

1. Tell Your Guests What to Order

Instead of dishing out menus, explaining the specials board and all that nonsense, why not approach dining like Joey Essex and tell your guests what they have to order.

Having decided on a champagne and pancakes theme, Joey told the guests:

“It would make it easy if you basically just wanted pancakes.”

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST – Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST – Five Star Hotel, E4

2. Find New Ways to Carry Plates

Why stick to the boring, same old routine of carrying dishes by hand.

Be a Joey, do this instead . . .

Screen Shot: Oh, Joey - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: Oh, Joey – Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot – Five Star Hotel, E4

3. Practice What You LOVE Between Service

Isn’t it annoying when other members of staff get smoking breaks, but you don’t because you don’t smoke?

Well, imagine being poor Joey Essex, where he’s not even allowed a little break to practice his handstands.

Life is so unfair!

Screen Shot: Oh, Joey - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: Oh, Joey – Five Star Hotel, E4

4. Drink Your Guests’ Champagne

Joey was caught pouring and sipping on a cheeky glass of champagne from a plastic cup.

This was questionable enough, but as two guests made it apparent that they never received their champagne . . . ah, erm, Joey mate.

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST – Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: Five Star Hotel - E4

Screen Shot: Five Star Hotel – E4

5. Always Add Sound Effects

If the sound of popping a bottle of champagne isn’t enough, add a little “wallop” to really wow your guests.

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST – Five Star Hotel, E4

6. Ponder Your Hard Day at Work 

Rather than actually getting on with your day’s work, how about pondering and reflecting on how hard you have been working instead – we’ve all done it to be fair.

Here’s Joey, daydreaming about his new life as a hard-working hotel staff member, and using a poetic prose to help capture the moment.

Screen Shot: Joey Essex - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: Joey Essex – Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: Joey Essex - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: Joey Essex – Five Star Hotel, E4

7. Do Exactly What You’re Thinking

Joey came out with a quote that nails all of us on a normal working day.

However, instead of pushing rebellious thoughts into the back of his well-permed skull, Joey did exactly as he thought – how admirable!

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST - Five Star Hotel, E4

Screen Shot: BREAKFAST – Five Star Hotel, E4