Bachelor 23 has launched!
Best dresses were slipped on, roses were present and the drama officially kicked off – big time!
The three-hour season 23 premiere started without a hitch although some women were clearly on the show to play the game. And play the game hard.
Here’s a recap of The Bachelor season 23 episode 1.
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Is anyone drunk yet from taking shots anytime they say “virgin”?
— Colton Underwood (@colton) January 8, 2019
How’s Your Spanish, Colton?
A selection of women put Colton’s linguistics to the test as they addressed him in varying languages.
Nicole, a social media coordinator, spoke Spanish.
Revian, a nurse, spoke in Mandarin.
And the last girl, Nina, a sales account manager, talked to Colton in her native tongue, Croatian.
However, all of this as brushed to the side by Cassie, a speech pathologist from California, who decided to speak to her man in sign language – how adorable!
“We are all trying to speak his language.” No, three of you decided to speak a different language. #TheBachelor
— NotThatChris (@BachelorBoredom) January 8, 2019
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 8, 2019
Less adorable and more on the super cringe scale was Caitlin from Toronto.
She brought C-dog a cherry balloon… to pop.
Clearly, Caitlin left her shame and subtlety at home!
Tensions boiled over when it became apparent that some of the women were former competitors.
Caelynn, Miss North Carolina 2018, and Hannah B, Miss Alabama 2018, both competed for the title of Miss USA.
If that isn’t a recipe for a malicious and bitchy narrative for the rest of season 23 then we don’t know what is!
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In terms of quirky characters, Alex D won that competition by a mile.
The girl from Boston, Massachusetts, gave everyone a hearty laugh as she somehow managed to stay in character despite dressing as a giant sloth.
She even climbed a tree.
The girl dressed as a sloth had me at Hhhhheeeeellllloooo lol #thebachelor ??
— Tesla Hitchcock (@TeslaHitchcock) January 8, 2019
— James Jones (@JamesJo13534990) January 8, 2019
Bri Brings the House Down
The most shocking entrance of the entire night came from Bri.
A model from Los Angeles, she for some reason put on a fake Australian accent.
Now that’s an entrance, mate!
— ashley (@revofash) January 8, 2019
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 3, 2019
A Vicious Cocktail Party!
Demi grabbed Colton for an intimate night before any of the other girls even had a chance to think about their next step.
However, Chris Hardin balled in there like the world’s biggest c*ck block after showing up with the Impression Rose.
Tahzjuan was right – claws did come out.
Likewise, Catherine put her A-game on Colton, with no one else present when she stole Colton three times from three girls.
We’re sure we just found the ‘shady b**tch’ of the bunch and Onyeka did not think it was cute! She made sure to let her love rival know it!
— Katie (@Vindikatied) January 8, 2019
The Impression Rose
What’s cuter than knowing the woman that Colton gave his Impression Rose to was also the girl he was incredibly comfortable with?
Colton handed the Impression Rose, and a few smooches, to the girl that reminded him of home, Hannah G.
Though a lot of the other women were upset, Colton knew he made the right decision. His smile was through the roof!
The First Rose Ceremony
Colton enjoyed a great first night of making connections, having chemistry, and falling for some of the women.
However, not all of the women could win a Rose.
Laura, Revian, Tahzjuan, Jane, Devin, Erin, Alex D (our very own Sloth Girl) did not receive a Rose.
And then came the tears…
WATCH THE BACHELOR EVERY MONDAY NIGHT ON ABC.