For those who were stuck inside, ploughing through a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream this Valentine’s Day, spirits were instantly lifted upon the arrival of Hannah.
The First Dates Valentine’s special may have featured an awkward mother and son double date, but it was Hannah and her unbearably demanding list that stole the show.
Grab a pen and paper, and get ready to make some notes – on how not to get a boyfriend!
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At least Hannah knows what she wants ?? #FirstDates
— Jaqs (@Jaqs1111) February 14, 2019
While our main man Merlin can make small talk with absolutely anyone, he seemed a little bored when Hannah started to list her long criteria of what she expected from a man.
Here’s a snippet of what the towering 24-year-old demanded…
You Get the Picture
Hannah’s Date – Oscar
Although it may have seemed impossible to meet the requirements of Hannah’s criteria, Oscar appeared to fit the bill.
A 6ft6 semi-professional golfer from Chelmsford – although his eyebrows were admittedly little bushy.
However, it wasn’t Oscar’s stories about golf that tickled Hannah’s pickle.
In fact, audiences worldwide were blown away by his somewhat ridiculous day job at London Zoo.
Of course, his pick up a penguin job was just a joke.
Not that Hannah got that…
Hannah and Oscar’s Date
It wasn’t exactly a hole in one date, however, with no real chemistry between Hanz and Oscar.
In fact, it was pretty much a disaster.
After Oscar failed to deliver the response that his date was craving when she asked him whether she was “common”, Hannah turned to her phone for company and decided to read out her Bumble bio.
Valentine’s Day in 2019, eh…
And They Never Saw Each Other Again…
Oscar didn’t exactly giggle as Hannah delivered her chat up lines but instead hit back by jesting that perhaps people were simply “desperate”, considering Hannah’s Bumble was overloaded with messages.
At this point, Hanz decided she’d had enough, and bluntly said that she “needed to go home “.
Naturally, they decided not to see each other again.
And when Oscar explained that his ‘penguin picking up job’ was nothing more than a joke, Hannah even had the mustard to kick off about him lying!
— jim shelley (@jimshelley17) February 15, 2019
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