New Made in Chelsea star Maeva D’Ascanio is scaring the hell out of everyone right now.

Her besotted cat and mouse chase with former lover Miles Nazaire comfortably landed into ‘full-blown crazy’ as she admitted to sleeping with Miles’s mate, James Taylor.

Oh, and the French firecracker has mentioned both killing and burning down Miles’ house throughout series 17. Here’s how Maeva is seven shades of total crazy!

Shade 1: Asking Digby to be her PT

There’s ballsy… Then there’s the type of cojones that Maeva struts around with.

Heading for the gullet in Digby and Olivia Bentley’s rocky relationship for no apparent reason, this chick strutted around the gym squatting and panting like it was the Eric Prydz Call on Me video.

Episode 6: Maeva working out with Digby.

Shade 2: Calling out newbie Sammy’s “dry hair”

Admittedly, it was hurt not to chuckle at this.

But even king of sass Mark Francis felt it was a little harsh when Maeva randomly called out newbie Sammy Allsop for the way her teeth and hair looked.

Meow.

Made in Chelsea - Maeva D'ascanio

Made in Chelsea – Maeva D’ascanio

Made in Chelsea - Maeva D'ascanio

Made in Chelsea – Maeva D’ascanio

Made in Chelsea - Maeva D'ascanio

Made in Chelsea – Maeva D’ascanio

Shade 3: Talking about killing Miles

Okay, so we’ve all wished on something bad to happen to an ex.

Maybe they fail their driving test. Maybe they fail their driving test and somehow break their leg by getting run over at the same time.

Then there’s Maeva’s type of wishful thinking…

Made in Chelsea - Maeva D'ascanio

Made in Chelsea – Maeva D’ascanio

Made in Chelsea - Maeva D'ascanio

Made in Chelsea – Maeva D’ascanio

Shade 4: Arson

If that’s not enough to land Maeva with a restraining order and sectioning, how about her idea of a practical joke.

We repeated: Do not lend this girl your lighter.

Made in Chelsea - Maeva D'ascanio

Made in Chelsea – Maeva D’ascanio

Made in Chelsea - Maeva D'ascanio

Made in Chelsea – Maeva D’ascanio

Made in Chelsea - Maeva D'ascanio

Made in Chelsea – Maeva D’ascanio

Shade 5: Taking on Liv

As a newbie in the cut-throat world of Made in Chelsea, it’s probably not wise to pick fights.

And if you were to get into a catty argument, you’d probably pick an enemy like Melissa Tattam or Amelia Mist.

Confronting OG cast member Olivia Bentley head on is just plain crazy!

Shade 6: Sabotage

Maeva succeeded in sabotaging Miles’s relationship with Sammy Allsop.

Through the grimacing skin of her teeth and the world’s fakest smile, Maeva met up for Sammy for coffee and befriended her just to stab her in the back.

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019, Maeva and Sammy

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019, Maeva and Sammy

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019, Maeva and Sammy

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019, Maeva and Sammy

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019, Maeva and Sammy

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019, Maeva and Sammy

Shade 7: Sleeping with James Taylor

The icing on top with extra cherries, nuts and every other topping you could possibly think of is the fact that Maeva slept with Miles’s mate, James Taylor.

According to MIC, Maeva and James are sort of dating and seeing how things go.

To the rest of the world, we just think Maeva is doing it to get back at Miles.

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019

Screenshot: Made in Chelsea 2019

OF COURSE, THIS ARTICLE IS COMPLETELY SATIRICAL. MAEVA IS NOT CRAZY. SHE’S ACTUALLY QUITE TOLERABLE AT TIMES.

 

WATCH MADE IN CHELSEA EVERY MONDAY NIGHT ON E4

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