Love Bites ITV2 review: The only show on TV more cringy than Dinner Date!

ITV2 launched a new Love Bites show on Monday November 30th. And what better way to end the month with a cringy dating show…

Think Dinner Date mixed with the opposite of MasterChef. Basically, it involves a several singletons – who can’t cook – on the look for love.

Three contestants cook – or leave the chicken raw – in a bid to secure a date with the main contestant, but they have no idea who cooked each dish.

We’ll explain it all a bit more below – here’s our taste of the cringy-dating-show-that’s-gone-too-far series…

Screenshot: Host Scarlett Mofatt, Love Bites, The Boys Attempt To Make Sushi For Their Date | Love Bites | ITV2 Youtube

Meet the contestants on Love Bites

Host Scarlett Mofatt makes the show slightly more bearable, with her jokes and constant use of ‘hun’ (I’m convinced she uses this sarcastically).

The TV star and presenter is probably the main reason anyone watches it.

MasterChef 2021 | Trailer - BBC Trailers

At one point, she kindly told contestant Jodie, 25, that the chicken in her dish wasn’t cooked for long enough. Whew, for a minute there I thought the contestants were professional chefs…

I mean, let’s be honest, the only thing that would make the show worse – or perhaps, more entertaining – would be chunder.

Luckily boxer and fitness fanatic Jodie was pretty cool, and gagged at the chat-up lines along with me. She was on the hunt for someone into the gym.

The first episode sees three contestants, which includes painter-decorator Joe from Brighton, holiday rep Jack, 24, and fitness-lover Dan, 22.

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The cringy chat-up lines – are they scripted?

Contestants on ITV dating shows, such as Take Me Out, have been rumoured to use scripted chat-up lines.

But as reported by Closer, Take Me Out insists that the shows are not scripted – and kept as authentic as possible.

So the same most likely goes for this show… which can only mean one thing. The contestants must actually think up these one-liners on the spot. Here’s just one from the mix:

If I’d be a kitchen utensil, I’d be a lemon squeezer cos I give you a good cuddle.

And if that wasn’t the most cringy chat-up line you’ve ever heard, it only got more eye-wateringly awkward. Try to read this without wincing…

I think I’d be a blender cos I’d make your heart spin.

Review: Love Bites 2020 episode 1

The contestants seem pretty relaxed about the whole cooking part, even though that’s the only way they can win their way to a date with Jodie.

She has to blindly taste their three-course meals, and eventually chooses the person with the most delicious – or at least, better than the others’ – dishes.

Scarlett literally poses as a mum figure in the show, constantly urging the boys to hurry up with their dishes. I must admit, it got pretty funny when the countdown began and they were rushing around like chickens. Jack initially said chicken doesn’t take long…

And going back to the food poisoning, Scarlett’s voiceover says: “Jodie ordered chicken teriyaki, not salmonella surprise.”

While Jack had never tried uncooked sushi before, Joe (the only one who could actually cook and *spoiler alert* managed to bag a date) had his first encounter with bok choy – deciding to make a plate with it.

So how will this show hold up? If the one-liners weren’t cringy enough to make viewers throw up, perhaps the uncooked food will be…

Basically, just don’t watch it mid-way through your dinner.

WATCH LOVE BITES ON ITV2 EVERY MONDAY AT 6 PM

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