Britney Spears has broken her short-lived social media hiatus to share a candid poem about feeling ‘numb’ and ‘escaping’.
After almost 14-years under her father’s conservatorship the 40-year-old is finally free to live her life as she wishes and post on social media whenever she chooses to do so. Recently she said she would be taking a break from social media, following her pregnancy announcement, but it didn’t last long as a week later she’s back.
133 pages of poetry
The Toxic singer took to Instagram to share a personal poem alongside a comment where she explained she used to ‘write all the time’ and said she even thought about making her poems into a book after seeing Kim Kardashian’s selfies book.
She commented: “I used to write all the time !!! I had 133 pages … so dumb that I remember … which is actually a lot of poems !!! I had written them in my son’s 5th grade binder that he gave to me … I had an idea to make a book with it and I thought “Is this work too personal ???“”
Spears goes on to imply it was her sister, Jamie-Lynne Spears, who took her ‘133 pages’ of poetry.
She continued: “I saw a book @kimkardashian did with selfies … at that time I wasn’t in the loop I didn’t even know selfies were in … anyway the 133 pages … well it was by far the best work I had ever done … then I went on tour came back and absolutely all of it was gone … most will say she’s playing the victim but I honestly just say it like it is … yeah that was pretty thin to me and I was pissed so I stopped writing for a very long time … I probably suck and have no idea 🤷🏼♀️ but I enjoy it … so I do it … it’s so nice to share with you !!!”
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The incredibly personal poem and almost devastating poem where she contemplated being ‘too scared’ to take a leap and seemingly references her father’s conservationship when she says: “They planted me down.”
“What would it feel like to feel pretty when I kiss ???
Some look around has something been missed ???
To take off from the ground feel beautiful and soar
When I was younger … hunger more more more
Too rigid in ways … too scared to just leap
I have so much fear … my anchor, my feet
They planted me down … as I’m finding the floor
Witnessed my head the crown … I needed the door
No escape day after day days turned to years I forgot how to play
Numbed to the core please when I can I go
The blankets that fed the illusion just grows
Don’t fight don’t fight we’ve shown you what we will do
I want so bad to be bad their language too cruel
I take it in sometimes feel insane
Distorted from reality I felt so ashamed
Because when I spoke yeah she’s just crazy
They portrayed me as old and mad, but
maybe to wisen my input resort to math
Numbers are virtues that live in the past
Present be taken a sudden shift
Finding my heart the finest gift
Good morning new day birds will whistle
My eyes look up promise of a pencil
Pencil to hand … mystery stare
Finding my eyes who is this do I dare
Ignite in a box a toil to forgive
A mask I forgot my tongue learns to live.”
Fans support Britney
Many fans have commented on the poem calling it ‘deeply beautiful’ and even praising her poetry skills calling her ‘Britney Shakespeare’.
Some fans have taken to Twitter to support Spears calling her ‘underrated’ and saying she should continue to write.
Breaking free from the conservatorship
In November 2021, after ‘Free Britney’ protests and court cases, the former teen star was freed of her conservatorship which had lasted almost 14 years. During which time the star recently revealed her father made her feel ‘fat and never good enough’.
In an Instagram post she spoke about the impact her father, 69-year-old Jamie Spears, had on her life, that would leave life-long ‘psychological damage’.