The Only Way is Essex star Joey Essex has been a highlight of new E4 series Five Star Hotel, treating us to his exploits in the kitchen during episode two.
Excitable, energetic and child-like, Joey was tasked with helping co-star and Geordie Shore personality Holly Hagan, as the pair served breakfast for the hotel guests.
Needless to say, Joey lost interest by the time his toast was warm.
Joey Essex is so stupid but so loveable 😂 #FiveStarHotel
— Jordan 🎃 (@J_Lovelly) March 13, 2018
I actually cannot deal with Joey Essex 😂😂😂😂 #FiveStarHotel
— Chloe (@chloebateman) March 13, 2018
1. Tell Your Guests What to Order
Instead of dishing out menus, explaining the specials board and all that nonsense, why not approach dining like Joey Essex and tell your guests what they have to order.
Having decided on a champagne and pancakes theme, Joey told the guests:
“It would make it easy if you basically just wanted pancakes.”
2. Find New Ways to Carry Plates
Why stick to the boring, same old routine of carrying dishes by hand.
Be a Joey, do this instead . . .
3. Practice What You LOVE Between Service
Isn’t it annoying when other members of staff get smoking breaks, but you don’t because you don’t smoke?
Well, imagine being poor Joey Essex, where he’s not even allowed a little break to practice his handstands.
Life is so unfair!
4. Drink Your Guests’ Champagne
Joey was caught pouring and sipping on a cheeky glass of champagne from a plastic cup.
This was questionable enough, but as two guests made it apparent that they never received their champagne . . . ah, erm, Joey mate.
5. Always Add Sound Effects
If the sound of popping a bottle of champagne isn’t enough, add a little “wallop” to really wow your guests.
6. Ponder Your Hard Day at Work
Rather than actually getting on with your day’s work, how about pondering and reflecting on how hard you have been working instead – we’ve all done it to be fair.
Here’s Joey, daydreaming about his new life as a hard-working hotel staff member, and using a poetic prose to help capture the moment.
7. Do Exactly What You’re Thinking
Joey came out with a quote that nails all of us on a normal working day.
However, instead of pushing rebellious thoughts into the back of his well-permed skull, Joey did exactly as he thought – how admirable!