The new series of MTV smash hit Geordie Shore is facing an Australian makeover next month.
In February the show will pick up its gang of boozy blokes and girls, taking them on a trip Down Under in a special spinoff series.
Combined with two ‘hot’ new Australian members joining the current cast, it’s set to be an epic adventure for our crew from up’ North.
Although producers want to keep the identities of the new Aussie’s hidden, we know that they will be joining regulars like Sophie Kasaei, Abbie Holborn, Stephanie Snowdon and Nathan Henry for the combined party madness.
Scotty T will not be making the trip after the show axed him following reports that involved images of the Geordie Shore star ‘appearing to snort a substance’.
The last time the gang touched down in sunny stralia’ was three years ago, so here’s a look at what we can expect as Geordie Shore meets the Gold Coast.
PROBLEM 1: Poor chat
It’s safe to say that the Geordie accent and Australian slang aren’t particular similar.
Could the likes of Chloe Ferry be enticed into swapping ‘tash on’ for ‘pash on’ – yeah, we don’t think so – and will the boys be be able to string together any decent chat considering the Aussie girls will have no idea what they’re talking about.
Oh, and flip-flops are called thongs on the Gold Coast. That’s going to cause a world of problems for our Geordie cast and Sophie’s wardroom.
PROBLEM 2: Disco minge
It’s pretty damn hot in Australia right now, with temperatures on the in popular Gold Coast cities like Brisbane expected to reach around 35°C.
Considering the Geordie Shore cast flaunt the smallest ‘budgie-smugglers’ when it reaches 15°C, this could get a little messy.
‘Disco minge’ has been cited as one of the biggest problems our lovely Geordie Shore ladies face on a night out, so what the hell is going to happen Down Under. In fact, we don’t want to know what is going on down under.
— Alex Auld (@alex_auld) February 26, 2013
Disco minge 👀😷 #GeordieShore
— Daryl Christopher (@RobertsDaryl) January 30, 2018
PROBLEM 3: Actually getting there
How much chaos is a 20+ hour flight with the entire caste of Geordie Shore going to cause.
We’re all partial to the odd beer or two while waiting for your gate at the airport, but we’re sure Sam Gowland and crew will take to the next level.
These guys and girls can’t go more than two hours without fighting or kissing one-other – British Airways better put bouncers by the toilets.
PROBLEM 4: Rules on alcohol
If there is one thing the Geordies love, it’s their nightlife.
Nothing beats a proper night out in Newcastle which, to them at least, involves crazy pre-drinks, an argument that almost leads to a fight, a dozen shots and plenty of necking-on.
In Aus though, drinking culture can be a little different. Imagine being the show producer who has to read this out to the cast.
“Alcoholic drinks that rapidly intoxicate, such as shots, shooters and bombs, can only be served until midnight.
“This includes: All drinks designed to be consumed rapidly. Drinks containing more than 45ml of alcohol. Pre-mixed alcoholic drinks containing more than 5% alcohol by volume and/or containing more than 2 standard drinks.
In other words, by law of the Queensland government, the Geordie Shore crew will be able to order any shots, double mixers, shooters or jager-bombs after midnight.
Here comes trouble.
PROBLEM 5: Kebab misery
We all know that Chloe loves a good old fashioned selection of chicken nuggets at the end of a night out.
Don’t worry Chlo, we’re sure you can find some of ‘em – although you may have to call it Maccas.
Will the rest of the cast be able to get their hands on a big sloppy pile of kebab meat though, that’s the big issue.
— geordieshore (@aaronchalmerss) September 2, 2017
We’re sure some kebabs will be knocking about however the Geordie Shore gang have very high standards when it comes to their favourite kebab. As if you can actually have standards for that.