Geordie Shore often provides us with a long list of hilarious and gob-smacking quotes. Episode four from the latest series was no different.

The gang crammed their suitcases with as many bikini shorts and V-neck tops as they could as MTV whisked them away for a spot of sun, sea and carnage.

Aaron Chalmers wasn’t invited to Tenerife by the way, you know, after he tried to kick-off at all the other guys on the show last week.

The episode proved to be an instant classic with Chloe Ferry and Abbie Holborn fighting over Sam Gowland, wedged between some camel riding and a trip to the water park.

Here’s all you need to know about the episode – in quotes.

Oink Oink

Discussing the ‘weird’ looking bacon in Tenerife, Chloe’s inquisitive nature brought up some good points on the flapping meat that was being tonged from left to right in front of her.

Sophie had explained that the bacon looked different because it was from Spanish pigs and not English. Chloe responded:

“Yeah but what I really want to know is, do the pigs talk in English or Spanish.”

Cheers pal

If your mate is ever in trouble, the cast of Geordie Shore know exactly what to do.

With Marnie Simpson missing from the group following a heavy night out, Chloe was forced into a quick-thinking cover up story to come her mates rescue. On the phone to head boss Anna she responded:

“Yeah she’s got thrush. And diarrhea.”

Complete doughnut

Dressed as a huge stottie (type of bread/cake thing) to give out flyers, Nathan Henry not only ‘slayed’ his outfit, but gave us a sentence that has never been said before.

“I have never seen a stottie as hot and so flouncy as me right now.”

Jesus Christ

Having declared how he was a camel expert, Sam went on to share his acute Biblical knowledge while riding his new friend.

“Were like the three wise men – all we need is some frank, myrrh and sence.”

Sophie responded: “You need some f*ckin sense”.

Spot on Soph, what about the gold? It’s gold, myrrh and frankincense – Sammy!


On their first night out in Tenerife the Geordie’s went in hard, putting on their best glam rags for an event at an upmarket nightclub. As upmarket as Geordie Shore gets that is. Especially for Chloe. She said:

“Got in the club and it’s so posh. But I feel like I fit in really well ‘cus I’m wearing a tartan skirt, and tartan is proper posh.”


Steph was buy putting on her best pulling game and sourcing a bit of the local talent. She said:

“I’ve just found the hottest guy in Tenerife. I’m telling ya, he puts the ten in Tenerife.”

But the episode came crashing down when the crew arrived back at the house. When will the producers learn to stop putting expensive things in the house.

Chloe and Abbie bickered over who had been flirting with Sam, who looks like he is officially the property of Chloe now, before Chloe completely blew her cool and flipped a glass table, smashing it into smithereens.

Nathan summed it up brilliant:

“Psycho Chloe has superhuman strength – one minute the table was there and the next it’s gone.”

Nath was also on top form at the waterpark with his beautiful description on the world of whirlpools and wave machines. He said:

“This place is amazing – it’s like a whole wet world, inside the real world.”

Finally, a perfect summary Geordie Shore episode four was during Sam’s final piece to camera.

Sam had made a kick-in-the-teeth joke on how ‘if he wasn’t getting with Chloe he would have got with Abbie’.

Kindly, Nath explained to him that Chloe had took his joke all too literally. To which Sam replied:

“I wish I knew what literal means.”

To find out more on Geordie Shore cast check out this super sweet article here.

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