Call me old fashioned, but I kinda like the kiss scene in Titanic. You know, Rose and Jack, pinned to the front of that big boat, gentle waves crashing into the side as Jack unleashes bubbling passion with a delicate, romantic kiss.
Titanic hasn’t been on TV for a while. In fact, the only kissing I get to witness nowadays is from the cast of Geordie Shore when one too many Jägerbomb’s leads to a tongue-heavy ‘necking-on’ sesh.
Doesn’t quite pull on the same heart-strings, does it?
For anyone that has ever kissed a boy, a girl, or even their nan or dog, they understand that the romantic value of a lippy embrace never matches that of a Hollywood movie scene.
A quick “cya next week” peck is sort of awkward and uncomfortable when placed to the cheekbone of your favourite aunt. There’s no stranger in the distance, witnessing your act and grasping towards the pumping ventricles of their heart as they are overcome by your sweet act of gentleness.
It’s just you, kissing your aunt, really.
But when it comes to the romantic kiss. The one that is supposed to ooze with emotion. Well that’s where reality TV has really f*cked things up.
In the modern era of Tinder hook-ups and flirting through aubergine emojis, our hopes or expectations that a kiss is used as a meaningful representation of admiration is as idiotic as the hope that we can walk out of university, straight into a job of our studied profession with a breezy 22k per-year wage packet.
And when it comes to reality TV, well the pure image of a kiss has been wrenched and twisted to the point where it is no longer recognisable.
Take Ibiza Weekender, where guests are waved onto the beautiful White Isle for a weekend of exploration across the famous party resort. Nah. There’s more oral expeditions than there are beach, bar or adventure excursions. Teenagers and their hormones, ehh.
There has yet to be an episode in this year’s series where the collection of four guests have all walked away from the holiday kiss-less. Now do the math. There are two female guests, two males guests, three male holiday reps and three female holiday reps. That’s a small pool of 10 people that somehow create enough tashing-on close-up shots for endless slavering montages.
In Survival Of The Fittest and a kiss has been merited with a new value. A kiss, according to reality TV, can be used as a decoy, an act of tactical precision and a masquerade. It was Georgie Cole, who has since been voted off, that faked her feelings towards David Lundy in an act to stay in the game with collections of fake kisses.
Flick on your TV tonight and you will stumble across a reality TV show that is documenting a kiss. Yet in what is supposed to be filming of ‘real people’ in ‘real situations’, how many of these kisses are a farce like a Survival Of The Fittest snog or staged like a Made in Chelsea make-out.
Perhaps there is no meaning or value to a kiss in today’s society.
I mean, having watched reality TV all week, when the time finally comes to sit down and watch Titanic, I’ll probably just see Kate Winslet faking a kiss with Leo Di Cap in an attempt to save herself from eviction off a luxury cruise . . . Or something like that.