The long-awaited return of E4 series Shipwrecked finally unfolded on Monday (January 28th) night.
The format of the show has constantly evolved ever since it first launched 20 years ago, although there are pretty much no similarities between this 2019 series and the original 1999 show.
Literally, drop this cast into series 1 without Shark Tribe leader Tom Wotton and they’d probably already be dead.
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From Survival to a Holiday
The original Shipwrecked series was all about survival.
While it wasn’t quite ‘Bear Grylls drink your own p*ss territory’ there were basic survival concepts embedded into the format of the show – build your own shelter, learn how to start a fire from scratch, become an expert fisherman with no tools.
Episode 1 of Shipwrecked 2019 looked more like a holiday.
The nine cast members rocked up on shore with suitcases full of fashion garmz, with the tirelessly annoying Big T exclaiming “are you wearing heels, babe” as the gang sat down for their first tribe meeting.
Night one saw the guys ‘n’ girls crack open a case of alcohol, smash into coconuts with a handy machete, assemble things with an electric drill, start a fire with a gas ignitor and gander around the already built shelter and toilets facilities.
It was basically how Fyre Festival was supposed to look.
Big T thought she was attending Fyre Festival #Shipwrecked
— Leah (@LeahKStevens) January 28, 2019
What happened to them building shelter, fire, seating area like the old shipwrecked, why make it like a holiday???????? #Shipwrecked
— Craig Blackburn (@craigmb2017) January 28, 2019
From Arguing to Snogging
So episode 1 did feature a pretty heated argument between Big T and Liv.
However, this didn’t stem from the complicated process of making the sleeping quarters dry by finding robust palm leaves, or a debate over who should be the hunters and who should be the gathers, like we have seen in previous series.
No, these girls nearly came to blows over some stupid ‘get to know each other’ game which you’re likely to see in an episode of Geordie Shore.
More cringe-worthy games are at the ready, with teaser trailers showing everyone on the island throwing their tongues down each other’s throats.
In the old series, contestants would literally be too tired, smelly and grumpy to piece together a half-arsed attempt at a flirt.
Now, don’t be surprised if the island becomes littered with condoms and empty Joop bottles when the series comes to an end.
I miss the old Shipwrecked! No luxury items, no “sleeping quarters” and no bloody drill! Everyone looked like shit, had shit jobs and weren’t there to find a boyfriend/girlfriend #Shipwrecked
— Hollie Coleman (@hollieanne1991) January 28, 2019
— Rachel Marshall (@rachelLmarshall) January 20, 2019
Real Drama to Scripting
At the end of episode 1, we saw the nine cast members split into their two tribes, the Sharks and Tigers.
Despite banging on about how he liked Tom Wotton and would definitely want to be in a tribe with him, international model Harry Goodwins picked Tom to be his rival tribe leader.
It was a move that felt like one thing – a scripted decision by the producers.
Now we have the two most alpha-male contestants leading tribes against one other. How clever.
You just made the strongest person your rival! Harry is so thick! #Shipwrecked
— Natalie Parry (@MissParry) January 28, 2019
Shipwrecked 2019 Review
Shipwrecked 2019 has virtually no similarities to the original series.
If these cast members were on the 1999 show, their survival chances would be catastrophic.
DIY-savvy Tom is the only contestant who you could see in previous seasons and while another 10-15 cast members are expected to turn up, we’re more likely to see someone’s hunky ex than Gary the 33-year-old mechanic from Bolton.
Shipwrecked 2019 is simply another TV series for a supposedly sex-hungry millennial audience, making Z-list celebrities out of anyone who goes to the gym and wants a higher Instagram following.
WATCH SHIPWRECKED 2019 EVERY WEEKNIGHT ON E4, AT 9 PM.