Episode 1 of new BBC series This Time with Alan Partridge brought us a hilarious sketch on how to visit the bathroom without using your hands.
Infamous TV presenter Alan Partridge (played by Steve Coogan) completed the sketch with a made-up nursery rhyme on washing your hands while becoming unintentionally aroused when watching a “creamy” how-to video.
Here are those full song lyrics and Al’s instruction video on visiting the loo.
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Alan Partridge: The Washing Hands Rhyme
Alan kick-started his new series with a hilarious section on personal hygiene, centred around washing your hands in the BBC offices.
A totally unreal nursery rhyme got Al on his way, as he repeatedly sang:
After the pee or poo has landed, do make sure that you’re clean-handed.
Alan Partridge: The Hands-Free Wash
The highlight of episode 1, and arguably the entire series, was Alan’s step by step guide on how to visit the bathroom without using your hands.
He shimmied off the sofa and displayed a hilarious act of flailing arms and elbows, explaining how his method meant that you wouldn’t even need to wash your hands as they weren’t involved in the toileting process.
Of course, this was before Big Al was totally mesmerised by a soapy – or creamy, as he put it – hand-washing display by a hygiene expert.
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You can watch the entire ‘Alan Partridge washing hands’ scene below.
This Time with Alan Partridge will continue every Monday on BBC One at 9:30 pm until April 1st.
There are six episodes in total, all of which will be uploaded to the BBC iPlayer shortly after airing.
WATCH THIS TIME WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE EVERY MONDAY NIGHT ON BBC ONE AT 9 PM