Fans of The Only Way is Essex have been creasing up after a hilarious psychic reading left James ‘Lockie’ Lock looking like the most bored man on the planet.
Troubled couple Lockie and Yazmin Oukhellou organised a psychic to come over to their house, hoping that the psychic would fix their rocky relationship with energy crystals, palm reading, healing stones and all that jazz.
So, erm, yeah… good luck.
MATE was that ‘psychic’ even qualified? She was so vague, I could have come up with that bullshit in five minutes #TOWIE
— Lawrence Of A Labia (@TashOldershaw) April 8, 2018
They’re seeing a psychic instead of a therapist, honestly I’ve had enough of this generation #towie
— Girl bye (@Kruelladaville3) April 8, 2018
Worst psychic ever! Everything she said has been shown on towie 🤣 #TOWIE
— Jennie B (@bside1307) April 8, 2018
Literally, Can’t Wait
Before the session had even got underway and Lockie’s face painted a picture for all men who have been dragged along to something they really didn’t want to do.
Lipstick shopping, La La Land premiere, psychic reading…
I See… Fear
Lockie went on to admit that he was a “little sceptical” although all his doubts were surely washed away as the psychic started to “link into his energy”.
The psychic was able to pinpoint Lockie’s “fear of abandonment”.
Either she was actually pretty decent at her job or had watched the first two episodes of TOWIE and, like the rest of the U.K population were well aware that Lockie and Yaz were flirting on the border of breaking up.
This psychic has basically has just watched the show and told them what they want to hear #TOWIE
— M E L L Y (@melissadizzyday) April 8, 2018
Brilliant, Thanks For That
James replied with one blunt “yeah” having received his uninspiring psychic reading, which divulged absolutely nothing in terms of what they already knew.
You know that face when you’re trying really hard not to laugh in someone’s face?
What’s On The Cards?
The female psychic proceeded to get some sort of ‘future’ cards out, where she mapped out the couple’s plans of buying a home while reflecting on what is holding them back.
She said: “Putting a plan together of where you wanna be and what you need. But this is your anger from past, and anger from ‘you don’t wanna go there, but you’ve had quite a rough ride.’”
Right. Anyone else completely lost?
3 Magic Statements
The psychic eventually produced three magic statements which, judging by Lockie’s face, will in no way shape or form change his “sceptical” opinion on psychics.
These aren’t generic at all…
That psychic stated the obvious then #towie
— VICKY -EVAN$ (@vixter87) April 8, 2018
1. Believe in Yourself
2. Change Your future
3. Have Trust
Don’t Put Ideas in Her Head
Yaz wanted one clear and simple message from her psychic, and that was whether she and Lockie should stay together or break up.
The psychic went full fruit loop, however, suggesting an engagement ring and babies over the next six months.
Oh please. If @YazminOukhellou & @JamesLock__ believe that useless so call psychic then they need their heads testing 😂 What a load of shit. Honestly, a baby? How toxic would that be right now. Focus on your relationship before gimmicks guys 🙈 #towie #youngergeneration #crazy
— Amy (@MissAmyEssex) April 9, 2018
Lockie could only sit back and seethe as his girlfriend almost physically clapped out loud as she glowed in excitement.
Lockie on the other hand…
Watch TOWIE every Sunday, on ITVbe, at 9 pm.