Fans of The Only Way is Essex have been creasing up after a hilarious psychic reading left James ‘Lockie’ Lock looking like the most bored man on the planet.

Troubled couple Lockie and Yazmin Oukhellou organised a psychic to come over to their house, hoping that the psychic would fix their rocky relationship with energy crystals, palm reading, healing stones and all that jazz.

So, erm, yeah… good luck.

Literally, Can’t Wait

Before the session had even got underway and Lockie’s face painted a picture for all men who have been dragged along to something they really didn’t want to do.

Lipstick shopping, La La Land premiere, psychic reading…

Screen Shot: James (left) and Yaz (right) - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: James (left) and Yaz (right) – TOWIE, ITVbe

I See… Fear

Lockie went on to admit that he was a “little sceptical” although all his doubts were surely washed away as the psychic started to “link into his energy”.

Surely…

Screen Shot: James (left) and Yaz (right) - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: James (left) and Yaz (right) – TOWIE, ITVbe

The psychic was able to pinpoint Lockie’s “fear of abandonment”.

Screen Shot: Psychic reading - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Psychic reading – TOWIE, ITVbe

Either she was actually pretty decent at her job or had watched the first two episodes of TOWIE and, like the rest of the U.K population were well aware that Lockie and Yaz were flirting on the border of breaking up.

Derr…

Brilliant, Thanks For That

James replied with one blunt “yeah” having received his uninspiring psychic reading, which divulged absolutely nothing in terms of what they already knew.

You know that face when you’re trying really hard not to laugh in someone’s face?

Screen Shot: Lockie - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Lockie – TOWIE, ITVbe

What’s On The Cards?

The female psychic proceeded to get some sort of ‘future’ cards out, where she mapped out the couple’s plans of buying a home while reflecting on what is holding them back.

She said: “Putting a plan together of where you wanna be and what you need. But this is your anger from past, and anger from ‘you don’t wanna go there, but you’ve had quite a rough ride.’”

Right. Anyone else completely lost?

3 Magic Statements

The psychic eventually produced three magic statements which, judging by Lockie’s face, will in no way shape or form change his “sceptical” opinion on psychics.

These aren’t generic at all…

1. Believe in Yourself

Screen Shot: Lockie - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Lockie – TOWIE, ITVbe

2. Change Your future

Screen Shot: Lockie - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Lockie – TOWIE, ITVbe

3. Have Trust

Screen Shot: Lockie - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Lockie – TOWIE, ITVbe

Don’t Put Ideas in Her Head

Yaz wanted one clear and simple message from her psychic, and that was whether she and Lockie should stay together or break up.

The psychic went full fruit loop, however, suggesting an engagement ring and babies over the next six months.

Screen Shot: Psychic reading - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Psychic reading – TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Psychic reading - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Psychic reading – TOWIE, ITVbe

Lockie could only sit back and seethe as his girlfriend almost physically clapped out loud as she glowed in excitement.

Lockie on the other hand…

Screen Shot: Lockie - TOWIE, ITVbe

Screen Shot: Lockie – TOWIE, ITVbe

Watch TOWIE  every Sunday, on ITVbe, at 9 pm.